O-lympics

by: lisa fabrizio | published: 10 08, 2009

One of the few good upshots of the thrashing conservatives took on Election Day 2008 is that we now get to be on offense nearly all the time; to challenge the Democrats by holding their feet to the fire on matters of vital interest to the nation. And although there are many target-rich issues on which to focus, sometimes we also get a freebie; an event that is a gift-wrapped ball of good fortune for our side.

In this case, it’s last week’s news that the city of Chicago will not be hosting the 2016 Olympics. Now I’m sure many of you agree with me that the pursuit of the Olympics is a trivial one indeed; yet the failure of the Obamas to secure it is a valuable political lesson. One need only to note the shock and disbelief from our friends on the left; after all, we not only sent the president and the first lady, but Oprah Winfrey!

Of course, had the president’s initiative been successful, we would have been inundated with stories proclaiming the importance of our securing the Games on our shores: the promotion of peace, understanding, and most importantly that, “we are not alone in this world.” But with the first-round ouster of the Second City, those on the left have turned their anger, not against the striped-pants crowd in Copenhagen, but on conservatives.

It seems, once again that we must be lectured on the subject of patriotism. So here’s how it goes: it is not patriotic to love your country and its history of defending freedom around the world. It is patriotic to decry your country’s history of defending freedom around the world and to use the prestige of the presidency to kowtow to other nations that share this view. Got it?

And while we’re at it, we might as well clear up this business of ‘gloating’. I admit that Friday was a day of guilty enjoyment or, schadenfreude for me, primarily since the weaknesses of the Obama presidency could be pointed out with only something as insignificant as losing the Olympics as a consequence. Unfortunately, there are those for whom any misstep of George W. Bush--no matter what the consequences--was a cause for joy.

But as I have said, Democrats are now on defense and seem to be somewhat out of shape to practice that discipline. So now that Chicago’s Olympic hopes have gone flying down to Rio, I have a few suggestions that might assuage the loss of the Games and get them back into fighting form. Here are some events that might be helpful.

The first event they can tackle might be one of the shooting sports. After all, they don’t do so well with the cameras. The Obama White House gaffe of trying to get a snap of Air Force One flying oh-so-low over the skyline of New York City demonstrated a tin ear to the concerns of Americans about the War on Terror; a phrase, incidentally, he has sent to the scrap heap. Equally disastrous to his relations with the common folk might be the recent photo op where he hustled 150 doctors onto the White House lawn to bolster support for his healthcare plan. But in typical heavy-handed fashion, he had aides distribute white lab coats so that they looked like so many bowling pins in a row. Synchronized kegling anyone?

Perhaps, they can engage in steeplechase; an event in which contestants must negotiate a treacherous course loaded with fences and water hazards that can foil even the most well-trained athlete. Kind of like the Administration’s efforts to defend with obfuscation the pasts of his many czars and Acorn buddies. Up till now, they’ve only come up with mud on their faces.

Of course, healthcare reform presents an especially tough challenge; much like the hundred-meter relay race, where the slightest misstep by any member of the squad could spell defeat. Here, Democrats might want to get in touch with Carl Lewis for advice on how a team works together. So far, they’ve dropped the baton on every leg.

An area where the Obama-ites definitely need work is foreign policy. The effort to cross the chasms between the president and his military men on Afghanistan might benefit from consultation with high hurdles champions. Likewise, they might assist him in overcoming the towering obstacles he has created in attempting to coddle our enemies instead of facing them down. So far, he’s getting a perfect ten from the Iranian judge.

Finally, if they are to avoid disaster in the 2010 Elections, they need to hone their diving skills.  Much like Rodney Dangerfield’s character in Back to School, they need to execute a perfect triple lindy: appease their left-wing base by bringing home all our troops and delivering on the rest of their radical agenda; convince moderates that they can truly save the economy and therefore jobs; and most importantly, nullify Republican efforts to hold them accountable for the failure of all of the above.

Let the Games begin.

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